Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
