I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
