You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
