My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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