my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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