He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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