My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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