it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
