it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize