dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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