No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We had to coat check the pizza.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
