If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize