Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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