ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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