I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
