Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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