It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
