When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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