she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
