Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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