32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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