I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
