Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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