I just cut my nipple shaving
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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