I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize