It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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