doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
