i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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