Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize