I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize