i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
