Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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