no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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