just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
