he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
