and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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