Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
