he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
