I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
