Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
