I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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