i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize