She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
