YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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