no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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