I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
