I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
