Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
