I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
