my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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