Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
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i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
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He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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