he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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