I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
