why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
