if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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