i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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