He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
