i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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