fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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