He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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