I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
