I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
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Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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