theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
