Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
