When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
