i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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