Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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