I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
